The State of my Union

okay I've been a bit busy but here are some thoughts.

Dick Cheney was having a cocktail throughout the speech. Several times you could see it. Maybe it was just diet coke or heart attack medicine, but I'm pretty sure it was Jack Daniel's. He is the vice President dammit. I'd be partying too.

I wish people would interupt me every 30 seconds and applaud. I'd do a better job too.

It's pronounced new-clee-er right? Maybe I can be president someday. On second thought I'd rather be Keith Richards. Drinking and playing guitar sounds easier than solving the world's problems. Okay, whichever comes first.

Does anyone else feel like Nancy Pelosi has some sexual skeletons in her closet? Really, picture the bitchy student council girl you went to college with. The one who somehow got in with the popular sorority. Remember the couple times a year she got drunk? What happened? See what I mean?

Did the nerdy white guys with the purple fingers vote in Iraq on Sunday? I get the show of support but this just seemed kind of stupid.

How come Bush didn't mention the fake soldier that got kidnapped yesterday? Never pass up a chance to poke fun at your enemy. Gets 'em every time.

He kissed Joe Lieberman. OK.

I bet Bush watches the Paris Hilton show and laughs because they're dumb and not because they're whores. I laugh because they're whores, but that doesn't mean we can't meet in the middle. Who does'nt like a dumb whore? I love Paris Hilton.

I should go now. I've lost interest.


...she used to be pretty, but now she's just pretty fucked up